Summer Wardrobe Felonies

well, summer is upon us. and, as i search my closet for my first official summer ensemble, i can't help but cringe at the outfits i'm sure to see by my fellow big boned sisters out here. now, we all know that women love summer because we get to show off our legs and toes, and other assets. and men love summer because women get to show off our legs and toes, and other assets. that being said, you KNOW i have a few comments about these outfit choices.

now, this isn't just for the big-boned sisters out there, ladies, this is for all of US. let's start from the bottom, shall we? nail shops all over the country are seeing their profits skyrocket because of all the scheduled pedicures. you know sandals are the shoe of the summer. there are some women, such as myself who can't afford to even walk past the nail salon to see someone getting a pedicure. i totally get that, but...... that is NO excuse to be walking around looking like your day job is to walk on coal before you go sliding into some sandals with your life story written across the back of your ankle in cracks. I'm just saying, if you have a bowl, or a pot, or even just a bathtub, you can soak your feet, after soaking your feet, you can grab an emery board from any dollar store for like 35 cents, and even a piece of pumice stone for like $1. head on over to the local beauty supply, and get a bottle of polish for like $0.99 and go home and make your feet beautiful. because if i see one more woman in $20 sandals with escaped convict feet talking about "you know i can't afford a pedicure" i'm gonna be sick.

Let's move on up to the legs shall we? now, i'm not even going to get on the shaving thing, because i honestly think that's a personal choice. the only time i actually shave my legs consistently is in the summer. but hair or no hair, you look a hot mess if your legs are as dry as the back of your feet. and this is not just for my African American sisters. this is for all women. if you're going to show your legs, moisturize them....regularly. fellas too please. i'm just saying.

now, let's move onto the area that makes me cringe the most, the belly. now, as a big girl, i do NOT hate on my thin sisters. if your belly is flat, and you wanna show it, then show it. rock it. and when you get jealous stares, revel in them. however, if you know your belly hangs over your mini skirt, put something over it. come on, ladies, i don't care how you fool yourself in the mirror that you can suck it in. you know you're not going to hold that belly in all day. and it looks a hot mess, i'll be the one to tell you. that's not saying you can't dress sexy, but i'm just saying putting all your *stuff* out there is not a way to get attention. unless you want the attention of being desperate. you know i'm telling the truth.

the best solution i've found to this problem is if you're gonna show off your legs in a cute mini, then cover up your belly and a little bit of your chest. if you're gonna have your belly and your chest all out, find some cute capris or a peasant skirt or something. don't put it ALL out there at once. there is something to be said to leaving something to the imagination.

ok, so let's skip the chest (i'm not even going there today), and move onto the face. now, i'm one of those women who have the luxury of not needing foundation and powder and all of that stuff. but, i will say this. if you're going to wear all that stuff on your face and then go in the sun, bring a hand towel just in case you sweat. that's if you wear makeup or not. there's nothing worse than a woman sweating rivers of foundation onto the neck of her shirt. blot at your face and neck with the towel, OFTEN!!! if you're a fashionista like me, go to the dollar store and buy a slew of hand towels in different colors. it's much cuter if you match. and don't be afraid to go natural! even though i'm already what my sister calls a chocolate drop, i love to lay in the sun. and i find it's on the days that i don't put anything on but sunscreen and lip gloss that i have the best summer glow. i'm just saying don't let your addiction to makeup make you forget that there is a natural beauty in there somewhere.

ok, onto the hair, and i'm through. sigh, this one's for my African American sisters. we all wish we had the millions of dollars to get beyonce's weave (ya'll know that's not her hair), but since we don't sometimes we have to make other arrangements. some choose braids, but that is a rather expensive choice. and others choose random up dos, ponytails or even tracks. now, most of these styles can be achieved in the kitchen (ya'll kitchen beauticians know what i mean) but let's use some smarts ok ladies? hair glue + sun + sweat = your hair smelling like a rotten fish. if you don't know, you better ask somebody. however, if you glue those tracks to a stocking cap instead of your head, you can reduce that risk. also, if you naturally have a fade, and you want to pull a rapunzel, you are going to be miserable. weave is hot, very hot the more hair you pile on. i'm just saying, enhance your hair in moderation. a lot of men don't even like ever flowing long hair like they used to. rock your short or natural hair if you feel adventurous. you never know whose eye you may catch.

so, while i wish that my little free blog could reach the masses, but i know i'm not that influential. but you know you see your girls going out looking a hot mess, and you don't say anything because you don't want to offend them. but you are not a friend if you let ANY of your girls go out and commit these summer wardrobe felonies. i'm just saying.

Are you in it for the attention or the union?

so, i'm at the wedding rehearsal of one of my nearest and dearest childhood friends, and i'm reminded of why my wedding was so small in the first place. now, let me just put in a disclaimer that what i am blogging about has nothing at all to do with my friend or her wedding, her rehearsal just happened to put me into the frame of mind to talk about this subject.

now ladies, i find that a lot of us are getting married nowadays with the assumption that it'll be the single greatest day of our lives and that everything and everyone must look and be perfect. the consequence of that not happening is what society has began to call "bridezilla"

this mindset is one of the single stupidest things i've ever heard of. and the reason why it is so stupid is because it is true.

i'm just saying, what is the point of marrying someone if your whole purpose is just to throw the party of the year? when mr corley and i decided that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, i was so excited. i had picked out the month i wanted to get married in, my colors, my decorations, i even picked out a beautiful white wedding dress trimmed in red. the stress over money and commitments and everything else made me snap at my husband repeatedly for no reason at all. we used to fight at least 3 to 4 times a week, and actually ended up breaking up for a little while and calling off the engagement. while we got back together within a couple weeks, we didn't even bring up the subject of getting married again for about another year.

then, on mr corley's birthday, we went out and had a good time, played some pool and stayed up all night talking about our future. we had some money coming in, and we were talking about what to do with it, and he said, "hey, why don't we just do it and get married already?" it was at that moment that i realized i didn't care who would attend, what we would eat, what people would think and/or say, i wanted to marry this man. that's it and all. i just wanted him, and i didn't care who was there or not there to see me do it.

our original plan was to go to my pastor's office and just do it there. but, we ended up with a few friends and family members there as well. i also remember that when we got married, a WHOLE lot of people threw a big fuss over not being invited, not knowing, etc. let me just say that i'm the granddaughter of the founding pastor of our church, and the daughter of the late pastor, AND the baby of my family. so, there were quite a few people that expected to see me walk down the isle. i didn't have a pretty white dress, i wore a lavender dress that had been in my closet for years. i went to the local beauty college with a bag of hair and asked for the best ponytail they could give me. did my own pedicure and ran past wal-mart a couple hours before the wedding to get my nails done. and you know what?

my wedding day was the single greatest day of my life so far. i had my immediate family, a few friends, we went out to olive garden after, and my husband and i had a weekend honeymoon getaway.

ladies, is it worth the stress of planning a party? is it worth the stress of an uncooperative wedding party? is it worth going into debt to impress friends and family? at the end of the day, shouldn't the only thing that matters be that you and your soul mate are together for the rest of your lives? if not, you're marrying the wrong man, and you need to stop before you get into something you will want to get out of.

the first wedding had 3 people: adam, eve, and God. how many people have to be there to make it real for you?

the only people i needed there are pictured in the top right of this blog. :-)

Beyonce, Beyonce, Beyonce

ok, so, in the media gossip news today, beyonce has released her video for the song "ego". now, personally, i love the song. i think it's good that she made it b/c her fans were not going to believe that "i'm just so humble and thankful" bit for too much longer. it felt like bey was being honest about how much she adores herself, and her man adoring how she adores herself and vice versa. i just knew as i would clean my house blaring the song through the speakers of my tv that the video would be something to see. so, as soon as i logged in for my daily dose of mediatakeout.com (i'm addicted), and saw that her new video was posted on youtube, i almost broke my mouse trying to click on it. i mean, i put my phone on silent, turned down the tv, and even closed the window.

and then i watched it....

beyonce, you know you need your royalties cut for that lame & boring video. you make this song about how you and your man are all that and ya'll know it, and then you take three and a half minutes out of my day to watch you and two other chicks dance around in sparkly bathing suits, a chair and canes? you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

i'm just saying, with the content of that song, you and jay couldn't take a few hours to do a video with fake paparazzi following you around? shoot, you could've pulled a heidi & spencer and shot it yourselves with a handheld. you have enough paparazzi following you around daily anyway. i mean really.

or, maybe i'm missing the concept of the video and was supposed to get that you have such a big ego that you think your adoring fans will enjoy just watching you dance around half naked. as one of your adoring fans, i'll just let you know that we would if you hadn't done that in your first 50 videos. come on bey, get it together. you've severely disappointed me. i'm still a fan, i just don't want to have to have this talk ever again. spend some of those billions your fans gave to you and make a real video again. one with stories.

or does sasha fierce not do real videos? if not, send out beyonce, she's the one who cashes the checks anyway.

Welcome to my blog!

hey everybody!

ok, so, i'm mrs corley, and if you can't tell i don't do capital letters. lol! i only use them when i want to emphasize something, so if that bothers you (which surprisingly bothers a lot of people), this is not the blog for you. *sorry* but i thought i'd start off with a little about me, so you know who's ideas and opinions you're reading about.

i'm a 26-year-old newlywed. me and mr corley have been married about 7 months. in those 7 months, i have learned more about him than in the 3 years that we've been together. i've learned that marriage is not easy, but i have the ability to make it pleasurable & fun. i am determined that i will not spend my entire marriage complaining and being miserable. there have been very hard times, and there are harder times ahead, but i love my husband. i mean i LOVE him, i'm in LOVE with him, and (to use his phrase) i'd kill a dead brick about him. flaws and all, i wouldn't trade him for anyone else in the world, because i know that he loves me for me and has my back when i feel i have NO ONE to stand behind me. and i remind myself of these things every time it gets rough. it doesn't fix anything, but it gives me the strength to work to make this a strong and beautiful relationship. ladies, (and gentlemen) if we took the time and effort to make our relationships successful, we wouldn't spend all of our time trying to track and stalk and spy on our men. I'm just saying, be the kind of wife that your husband wants to come home to. I know that sounds real old-fashioned or simple or anti-feminist or whatever. and you don't have to agree with me. but when the institute of marriage was created by God (and not a feminist group), husbands were instructed to submit themselves unto God and after that husbands AND wives were told to submit themselves "one to another". a lot of people get that bible quote mixed around all crazy, but that's for another blog. the point i'm trying to make is, you can't just sit back and expect your relationship to work out. it will NEVER happen.

i'm getting new blog ideas just as i type this one. anyway, i don't have any kids yet, but i'm hoping that they are coming soon. i love babies, from birth to teenagers. i adore just about everything about them. if you are blessed to be a mother or father, remind yourself everyday that there's this amazing person created by you and someone totally different from you. and your child is an amazing blend of two people. i know they throw tantrums, lie, and even piss you off. but could you imagine your life without them? if you could, then people like me want to fight you.

another thing about me is that i'm pretty funny. i'm not cocky about it, i'm just stating facts. i love to laugh and make people laugh, and i also just have a sometimes weird way of looking at things. it's ok. i'm not trying to crucify or change anyone through these blogs, i'm just curious to see if anyone thinks the same way about things that i do from time to time. and, hey if i change someones life by writing my thoughts out for the better, then yay! but if i offend you, i'm sorry. that is never my intent. however, i am a grown woman, so a simple note to bring that to my attention is sufficient. i don't do childish back-and-forth banter, so if that's your style, this blog isn't for you either.

let's see.......is there anything else?......nope. i guess that's about it. i hope you enjoy this all-access pass into my thoughts and opinions!